Chapter 7: Worlds on collision… collusion… yeah.
“Dude, I gotta say. You’re not half the idiot we keep thinking you are.” Jay says with some actual pride. How is it he can put me down and still be encouraging.
“Um… thanks I think”. I say as I get down from the stage. Normally I love this part of the night where I just chill with whoever’s in the house in between sets. If I don’t know anybody I just hang with Mr. Ryan and help out with the chores til closing time. He usually takes me home after these gigs. It was that or pay me and I take the bus with my guitar.
“You as always rock.” Katrina says beaming. “Was that a new song?”
“You mean the last one I played? Oh yeah. Just finished it a couple of days ago. Was hoping to take it for a spin. Was it spin-ny?” I asked. Trina’s opinion always counted.
“Like a whirly-gig.” She smiles. “Although…”Trina starts to wrinkle her nose. Ok. Here it comes… “There was that bit with the line… ‘Doesn’t it feel funny something something…”
“Don’t it feel funny how things are never where they ought to be?” I ask.
“That’s the one.” She says. “I’m no song writer but the meter’s a bit weird. Don’t you think?”
I had to relent. I’m so wordy I tend to glaze over stuff like that. “Yeah.. it’s hard to cram all those words in.”
“You could try…” Trina says, grabbing my slightly crumpled lyric sheets. There’s no stopping her when she’s like this. Shauna on the other hand gives me this look.
“What?!” I ask?
“Nothing.” Shauna says almost too innocently.
“Trina’s opinion always matters ok?” I say. “I sing. I like words but I’m no writer.”
“Whatever you say champ. You really did rock the house tonight though. That’s what, 3 points for the half idiot?” Shauna asks Jay. I’d say it was mean of her to make fun of me right after my glory fades back to normal but she’s right. I am half idiot.
“I’d say 3.5 out of five for today.” Jay says looking at his watch pretending to check my score for the day on his calendar. “definitely a 3.5 bordering on a 4 on the redemption meter.”
“You can try ‘ain’t it funny how it’s never what it ought to be’!” Trina says adjusting her glasses, big grin on her face. It’s actually kinda cute how she does that when she’s on to something.
I look at the words she scribbled and my goodness! “That does fit the meter AND it’s actually kinda more poetic in a general allusion kind of way!” I say genuinely pleased!
“I want royalties.” Trina says in mock artistic snobbery.
“This is only line out of… ohhhh… 20 lines? You’ll get 1/20th of what I make from this.” I say, in my mock business voice. We laugh. Shauna rolls her eyes. I see a flurry of movement from Jay in my peripheral vision when suddenly Shuana goes: “I swear if you had that kind of confidence whenever Maddie St. James shows up you just may convince her you’re an actual human being”
“Yeah.” I say wistfully looking up at the diner ceiling. “If only.”
Then Jay, barely keeping himself from laughing (or vomiting I can’t always tell sometimes) comes up to me and whispers not too softly in my ear. “Now’s your chance.”
“Hi Mark!” an all too familiar voice sounds from behind me.
In that instant I go from folk-rock-star… to village idiot with a hangover.
“Maddie! Hi! Wow! Hi! You’re here!… Hi.” I manage to blurt out in a kind of meter that I so wish Katrina could edit. Preferably by a baseball bat to my idiot head.
“Wow.. you’re really kinda pumped up after all that huh?” Maddie says politely.
Loosening up and kinda relaxing (a little too much I was told eventually) I kinda drawl out a weak. “No… ‘course not! Just y’know… winding down… and some… such… thing…” I say.
Silence.
Shauna starts to usher Jay away as he facepalms. Trina just looks sadly at me and just shakes her head a little…
“Oh… okay. That’s nice.” Maddie says, seemingly unfazed. Her hair’s wavy. I think it’s so cool that her hair is wavy. “Nice to see you guys tonight too!” She says to my friends.
“Well we came to show some love for Markie over here. The way he does his thing up there you’d wonder how he actually needs a lot of support.” Shauna says, genuinely trying to make Maddie feel comfortable. Trina just smiles shyly and nods in affirmation.
“So what you think of our local star tonight? Pretty smooth huh?” Jay says putting an arm over my shoulder. “He’s… as you now know kind of a local legend in these parts.”
“I wouldn’t say that… unless of course that works for you in which case…” I say not knowing if I need to play it up or tone it down. What do I do to make her like me dangit!
“No! You were totally awesome tonight!” Maddie says. And the shock obviously seems to be manifesting greatly on my face because she follows it up with: “Seriously though… I love how you’re so at home in this place and I love your music. Did you write all of those songs?”
“I do but she edits them.” I say dumbstruck pointing at Trina.
“Oh no… I just help out here and there but Markie’s quite the wordsmith himself.” Trina says shyly.
“And a walking contradiction at that, by the evident lack of words he seems to be displaying right now?” Jay laughs insincerely. “Artists. They’re so deep.”
“Please stop helping me Jay.” I say nervously. Now or never. I’m near the stage. Just barely a few inches from it. Oh stage… give me my strength again.
“They’re right you know. I do tend to kinda spaz out when I’m off this thing…” To which I cleverly manoeuvre myself onto the first stair leading up to the platform. “But when I’m on it I guess I’m a totally different person.”
“I can see that.” Maddie says. “But really, I love your music.” She says very sincere.
Yes! This is going great!! I’m on the stage (somewhat) and having a normal… that’s right… NORMAL conversation with Maddie! And she loves my music!! I am soooo fangirling inside!
“Hey maybe we could do like a song together one day. I’ve been kicking this melody around that I think a harmony would totally take to the next level…” Maddie says when she gets oh so RUDELY interrupted.
“Markiiiiie!!!!” Oh Shell… why now?! Why bleeding now!? She was gonna write music with me!?
“I see you met my girl Maddie!” Shelly says draping an arm over Maddie. Why do you have to be so perky all the time. And now that the spot lights weren’t blinding me I could she she still had her two-tone Hannah Montanna hair. She thought she was being aswesome when she got it done. But oh Disney Crypto Amnesia… you are a wicked disease. At least the honey blond and dark brown brought out her green eyes.
Seeing the look on my face… (probably shock or discomfort or.. .seething hatred I don’t know anymore because I can’t remember) she relents. “Oh wow, was there a moment. Were you guys like talking about something important…I am sooo sorry…”
“no no no Shell! It’s cool!” Maddie reassures Shelly as she’s kinda backing away. “I was just telling Mark that I was kicking around that melody I played for you last week and we said a male vocal could do it?”
“Oh yeah, the one I wanted Charlee to try out?” Shelly says.
“That’s the one. Although right now I’m thinking Mark just might be perfect for it.” Maddie says smiling. Kinda dumbstruck but the stage was totally saving me right now.
“Yeah?” Shelly asks, just sincerely curious.
“Wasn’t it you who taught me that alto’s shoud sing with tenors? Charlee’s a straight up Barritone… or heading there anyways…” Maddie says.
Shelly gives her a look and I swear she could have been asking her “what are you doing?”. That or “don’t you know there’s a shoe sale at the mall”. Ok fine I don’t really know how to read girls but there was a moment.
“What?” Maddie asks. “It would totally work!”
“What could totally work?” Charlie asks as he joins our little circle. Charlee was actually the ‘founder’ of Through the Roof. It was kind of a family band where he and Bobbie sang a few covers. Then they met Shelly who wrote music and suddenly they were like the California dreams. Again nobody knows who they are anymore.
“Charlee!” I shout out reaching out for the usual ‘manly fist bump’.
“Marcus my good man… excellent show tonight. Truly inspired.” He says trying out his dignified voice.
“Thanks buddy. Glad you and the girls could chill tonight!” I say enthused. “We were just talking about songwriting and stuff.”
“Ah yes. Musical pursuits. Very cool indeed.” He says all smooth and awesome. He’s kind of a girl about his hair and fashion. Tonight it was a brown leather jacket and jeans.
“Seriously… you’re like a 90210 reject if Dylang Mckay swallowed a dictionary.” A voice called out from behind him. That got a laugh from approximately just me and Trina.
“For all of you fortunates who don’t have older sisters that was the OLD 90210. The one the 90’s was buried with.” Bobbie says sidling up to her older brother. “It’s just not cool.”
“Must you Roberta? Must you?” Charlee says retaliating.
“Call me Roberta again and I’ll cut you.” Bobbie says smiling like a wolf. Then shifting gears she comes on over to me and gives me a hug. “Good job tonight Markie!”
“Thanks Bobbie.” I said. Pleased. Bobbie and Charlee are the older siblings I never had. So Bobbie was a year older and Charlee only two. But still they were all protective of me and stuff. I was the youngest performer at the Tuba Door and you can say we all grew up “gigging” here on school nights and weekends.
“And are these the friends you always kept telling us about?” Bobbie asks.
“Right! Criminey yes! These are my friends! Hello manners! Wait you’re on vacation. Oh well we’ll just make do…” I say stammering and getting of stage. “This is Jay and Shauna… Trina you guys see every once in a while… And uhm…” I’m looking at Maddie and… Oh Lord. I can’t say her name. I can’t say her name! Why can’t I… stage! Yes. Must get back on… and I leap for the first plat form… “Wait… easier this way..” I say making a really super cool (to me) save!
“This is Maddie whom you all know… and on this side we have 3 out of the 5 members of Through the roof, the COOLEST band like really almost ever…” I say laying it on thick.
Charlee mouths fanboy to my friends and that got a smirk from Shauna, a resigned nod (of pity) from Jay and a giggle from Trina. Even Maddie smiled.
“That’s Richard Lee St. James… Charlee to you you, pest to her” I say pointing at Bobbie. The sibs smile. “Lead singer and guitarist. The one and only Bobbi St. James not so baby sister an diva extraordinaire on bass and vocals.” Bobbie just rolls her eyes but you could see she liked when I did my intrudctions.
“Of course we have songwriting sensation Shelly ‘I’m perky and annoying even at 7am’ Algren on vocals and keyboards.” Shelly sticks her tongue out at me and laughs with everyone anyways. She’s notorious for being the ONLY one awake at 7am. They never rehearse in the mornings just because they can’t take her when she’s not caffeinated let alone when she is.
“Where are Allie and Tim?” I ask. Their older sister, the legendary Alodia St. James just happens to be the coolest ever. She started out as a punk drummer but ended up just branching out. She’s their drummer now with her boyfriend Tim who plays rhythm guitars. They’re in college. They’re so cool.
“Date night.” Shelly says dreamily. She’s the resident romantic and totally loves how Allie and Tim have been together since junior high. Bobbie of course makes gagging sounds and Charlie looks like there was some unpleasant odour wafting up from right under his nose.
“Wait… St. James?” Shauna asks. “Hate to sound racist and ask about last names but the brown hair and cheekbones kinda give off some genetic vibe between y’all” she says carefully.
“It’s cool.” Bobbie says reassuring her. “BIG family. Emphasis on Big. Maddita’s a 3rd cousin twice removed or some junk.”
Maddie smiles. “Tia Monique! She was the only one who called me that!! I can’t believe you’d remember!”
“This is kinda wild! So you all knew each other and stuff… like… the whole time?” Jay asks piecing the information together. “And you never bothered to like connect the dots for us?”
“Well… Trina kinda hung out at the Tuba-door on and off and she’d met Charlee, Bobbie and Shell… and I SO did not know you and Maddie were related… that’s news to me…” That’s right stage… thank you for keeping me confident. “But hey, the dots are all here tonight and totally connecting!”
There I was. The epitome of… well not so much confidence as it is “not sucking and spazzing out like a weenie”. So yeah. The epitome of not spazzing out like a weenie… and the whole time Maddie’s just smiling and laughing at my jokes. Then again I was kinda halfway up the stage.
Ok Torrence. Now or never. Time to break the spell once and for all.
“So you guys gonna jam for the next set?” I ask.
“Pass.” Shelly said pouting. “I have a sore throat. I mean… I love Miley…” To which bobbie and charlee groan… “But I already have Hannah Hair… Hannah voice just kinda makes me look like a wanna be poser….”
She was sounding hoarse tonight.
“We have GOT to get you off those Disney channel sitcoms.” Bobbie says.
“But I love Disney!” Shelly says feigning hurt.
“You and me. Vampire Diaries this Tuesday! Say it with me.. MARATHON.” Bobbie says pointedly.
“Man alive Damon is so yummy.” Shauna just blurts out. “Did I say that out loud?”
“Guy in the back row heard it Shaunie.” Jay says. “So yeah. Little bit.”
“Isn’t he juuuuust?!” Bobbie says to shauna. To which a flurry of OMG’s and almost rabid frenzy ensues as the two of them fangirl over some vampire. They’re all so pasty and brooding I confuse them all the time. I mean… are there happy vampires? Is that an oxymoron?
“If you ladies are gonna do this…” Charlee gestures at the melee… “… On Tuesday? Let me know so I can go take an extra shift at Boo’s…” Of course they ignore him and talk about how Damon said he should have never left or something like that.
“Or I can schedule and anurism… and maybe not for me…” Charlee says. “But to answer your question Markie… I’m good to go. I was all jammed out last time… I kinda wanna keep some of the mystique.” He says to me.
“Any other takers?” I ask scanning my now newly acquainted sets of friends. No love from the vampire lovers because they’re most likely rehashing some episode. Charlee’s out. “Trina?”
“Thanks I don’t perform except at dinner.” She says with a shy smile. Haha.
“Sondheim! Very cute.” I say. “Scratch that then. Jay? We can do some Jason Mraz!”
“Tempting but when it comes to singing on stage. I am blackbolt.” Jay says to me.
“Who in the whatnow?” I ask?
“King of the inhumans? Voice so powerful that when he even so much as whispers things start to explode or something.”
Incrediously we look at Maddie.
“Technically it’s electron manipulation that does end up having the ‘blow things up’ effect.” Jay says puzzled and leaning towards amused. “You speak geek?”
“Not fluent in the language but I do understand it. My brother’s kind of a native.” Maddie says. “And since nobody else seems to want to jam… suspiciously…” she says under her breath. “That kinda just leaves me. So yeah .What you got?”.
Game. Set. Well… we’ll see if it’s a match.
Chapter 6: Minstrel-ing… yes that is a word. just now.
Applause. A Guy could get used to it if they let it straight to their heads. In my case? Being kind of a loser around the girl of my dreams keeps me humble. So here I am before I start and already people are cheering.
Did I mention that the Tuba-door (don’ ask, I think the name’s hideous too) is way out of the way of everything important? The mall, the arcade, the movie theatres… and yes begrudgingly… school.
Unless you had wheels or able bodied friends with wheels who are kind enough to drive… it’s just out of the question. Sure it’s a neat diner in the day but it sorta transforms into a pub at night. Not the kind with drunken folk and crazy parties but the kind where people can just chill and oddly enough, play music.
A lot of people have their careers pick up here because well… it’s kind of a scene on it’s own. Me? I’m just close to the manager Mr. Ryan. He’s one of my dad’s best buddies… Funny story because my dad’s best buddy was actually Mr. Ryan’s little brother. But that guy passed away a long time ago and I guess it just made ‘em better friends.
They were sort of in a fun band together. Fun because my dad is right now an investment banker (don’t know what that means) and always wanted to be one so even if he’s pretty nifty with a drumset… he never really wanted to go mainstream.
Which I totally do not really understand either. It’s as baffling as investment banking. I mean… do you invest in banks? Or do you bank your investments… so foreign.
Any-who… there I was… so glad that the lights on stage pretty much made it next to impossible to see the crowd and fighting every urge to think Maddie was here.
I always kinda loved that about the stage and wondered why people get so nervous about the audience when really… you can’t see a thing! It’s all just bright light and shadows and applause (if you’re good)… polite applause (if you’re not) and nothing (if you really really blow).
You can say the stage is kinda my home element. My natural habitat if you will. The place I’m most freely myself. If only I could be on stage with Maddie maybe it’ll break the curse.
When you’re on stage there’s just the show. The number. The song. The dance (though heaven knows I have like…. Nine left feet and the rest are in storage).
No pretense. No funny or sad or cool or spazzy… just the moment where the music does all the talking and showing.
And I’m kind of a regular here so the people know I’m not gonna be another “highschool act” to suffer through. The good Lord blessed me with some pipes and I was about to show ‘em how blessed I really was.
I strum a couple of bars and see how people are filing in. Couple of moms from the children’s centre. Most likely sent by my aunt to go check her “baby” out.
From the corner of my vision I see Shelly and the girls come back in from outside, no doubt wanting to show some love. Of course I remember that Maddie could be with them and I immediately “spiel” away to ward of the would-be mounting tension.
“Hey everyone!” I say casually. Greeted by a few nods and hellos. “Tonight’s a good night to celebrate yeah?”
Couple of cheers, a grunt or two. I swear I could hear the centre moms going ‘he’s so charming’. To which I think quickly, lady this only happens on stage.
“Some of you are thinking, yeah maybe with all the crazy financial stuff going on you wouldn’t think there was any good left in the world. Well…” I pause for dramatic effect and pluck out a particularly fun arpeggio on my guitar. “If you’re with a friend tonight… if you’re with family… or you’re just here cooling your heels and you got someone you can text… why don’t you go look at em or bring out your phones or whatever and say baby…”
Some of the non-regulars are lookin at me like I’m nuts. But the ones that know this little gimmick of mine play along anyways. “C’mon… don’t be shy now… say baby… I say it the way my mamma says it. And my Aunt Leona…” I say to the centre mom table. I get some smiles outta them.
“Look at em or text em… baby… the world’s a mess but at least we got each other.” I say. Some people chuckle. I see a man rolling his eyes at his wife and the wife slapping him on the arm for being a buzz kill. “Go on now. Don’t have to say it ‘cause you mean it… say it ‘cause it’s true.” I say having fun as the crowd warms up to each other. I’m strumming away feeling the vibe. I love home court advantage. I can never really do this anywhere else but at Ryan’s. It’s my folk-rock-star fantasy come true every time.
“Go type it out on your phone if you got kids or a wife or husband… you too Tuba-doorians. Go let somebody know we’ll make it together if we try.”
“That’s sooooo cheesy!!!!” Shelly shouts from her table. Mercifully I can’t make out how many of them are there.
“Is that Shelly Algren in the house?” I say pretend squinting in her direction! “Ladies and gentlemen is through the roof in the house to-night?!” I ask with mock surprise. And since Shelly and her girls are local legends… (bigger and badder than me anyways) that got the house rockin. “That’s right folks give it up!” I say fanning the celebrity buzz.
“I don’t see you showing your BFF’s some love…” I say pretending to be hurt.
“Hey Torrence! Just sing already yeah?” That would be Bobbie St. James. Diva extraordinaire and part of Shelly’s group. Looks like all we need is Charlee and…
“We ain’t got all night for a love in Torrence!”
“And the 3rd horseman speaks! Ladies and gentlemen Through the Rood is confirmed live at the Tuba-door tonight!!!” I say calling more attention to them. “Would you like to hear them jam?”
Cheers from the locals. They love when the bands they like end up in each other’s acts. Gives em that whole community vibe thing.
“Sorry chuck… gotta give the people what they want yeah?” I say fanning the flames.
More cheers!
“But if this is too cheesy for Through the Roof why don’t you go tell Mr. Ryan over there Baby…” I say gesturing towards Mr. Ryan behind the counter. His hands up with that look on his face saying ‘How’d I get dragged into this?’
Picking up on the gimmick Shelly and Bobbie get up and flutter on over to the counter, resting their chin on their hands pretending to be lovestruck groupies.
“Baby” They said.
“The world’s a mess” We all say. “But at least we got each other”.
Cheers from the crowd as Shelly and Bobbie hop up on the counter and plant a kiss on each of Mr. Ryan’s cheeks. He’s practically a second father to us anyways so this was just too fun. The locals knew that too.
“I run a decent establishment here Torrence! I could get arrested for this!” Mr Ryan heckles, his booming voice carrying over the din and my strumming.
Everyone laughs. Shelly and Bobbie hi-five before going back to their tables.
“Yes sir Mr. Foley sir!” I say. Pretending to be cowed. “everybody good?”
I was greeted with a cheery ‘yeah’ from the audience. Now everyone was in a good mood. Even the loaners were less sullen. Man. If I could only have this kind of confidence when I’m around Maddie.
“Well this song is called together. That’s what we are and that’s what we’ve got!” I say plucking out the intro and just easing into the first verse.
I know that I could be the one
Let every dream you ever knew
flash before your very eyes and
See how they could all come true
It’s one of the ones the people love so some of them start singing along. At the back I see the doors open and just KNOW it’s her. Oh well, now or never.
Let it all fall like rain
Descend like snow
Undeniable how we
Could make them
Make them all come true
I sing as the shadow sits at Shelly’s table. when the chorus hits I just close my eyes and find my centre.
Together, yeah together
Ain’t nothing like it
Show them something they haven’t
Ever seen before
Together, oh together
Just ain’t nothing like it
Show them we could really
Have it all…
I always prolong that last note on the word ‘all’ because it’s fun and I dunno, I guess it’s symbolic to me how having it all can be interpreted by a long awesome note that “spans” the range of how much you can really have. I’m an art nerd that way. But I never say it out loud. To pretentious.
I go through the second verse and chorus and see that Jay, Shauna and Kat walk in with Kat’s mom. Immediately they pull out their phones and do some mock swaying with the lights on. None of us smoke so in the absence of lighters… phone LED’s.
They settle down right at around the time the bridge hits.
The road unwinds
And you’ll still find
Me holding on to everything
You thought you dropped along the way
We’ll make it through
Just me and you
Crashing through we’ll take each
Wall and tear it all apart because
Together’s what will do…
Nothing less will do…
Together’s what will do…
It will do…
As I was singing this the lights kinda shift and then suddenly… Maddie. Miraculously, hidden behind my guitar and a microphone, covered in lights and lost in a crowd the Maddie effect had… well… no effect.
And she was bobbin’ along to the song. My heart would have stopped if I wasn’t into the song. Oh music. I love you. I am an idjit without ya!
Strumming the last few bars as I wind the chorus down slowly people start to clap. Maddie claps too. Sigh. I wish I had a camera.
“Thank you!” I said. “This next song is about Letting go when really all you want to do is hold on.”
Chapter 5: Sense. You can haz it. Fur realzies.
“I still wanna kick Steiner’s Comic Con Candy Ass.” Shauna says angrily as we were walking to the bus stop. “He’s got to be the worst wingman this side of the ‘verse’” she air quotes. The one thing Shauna and Jay share is their love for Firefly. We were all Whedonites in some form.
“Oddly enough he’s also the best. He thinks of every contingency.” I say in his defense, still too floored to care that Jake was kinda rude about Maddy. “And hey, that was a good line.”
“I’m allergic to spaz.” Shauna says shaking her head, the starts giggling. “Yeah. Gotta admit that was good. And what a save from Trina. You’re lucky Maddie St. James is not a Scientist.”
“Hey I resent that.” I say with mock hurt, but still offering Shauna the empty spot on the waiting shed bench. “For all we know she was just being polite about the fact that I’m a complete idiot around her and my friends are desperately trying to hide the obvious fact that I’m in love with her.”
Shauna rolls her eyes. “Markie…” she begins half not knowing if she wants to continue or not. “It’s really not my place to judge. Jay has that seat of honor. But I will go out on a limb as a friend and ask if you even know what being “in-love” means”.
“Are you gonna pull a dictionary on me? Love is love is love is love. I can’t stand being away from her, I think about her all the time. She’s the single most fascinating creature in the ‘verse’. What else is there?” I ask. Seriously. I can’t get this girl outta my system. When she smiles I smile… or at least I try to because my system freezes up when I see her.”
“Hey, I’m no expert… but do you even know this girl?” Shauna asks me. “I mean I’m asking this question for real because I’ve had my share of knuckle draggers, no offense..” she says as an aside. I shrug.
“None taken.” I say. My intellect is rendered to the level of caveman when I’m around Maddie.
“Good. Anyways, what I was trying to say is that I’ve had my share of idiots who’ve come crawling on hands and knees throwing flowers and chocolates from all sides professing undying love.” She continues. “NONE of them even knew what I was really like.”
And what was Shauna Myers really like? Where to begin…
She’s the not so subtle bombshell. Why she trucks with us has earned her the ire and wonder of the marginally popular people because people who looked like her never hang with people who well… looked like us.
If anything Shauna dressed the part but played a different role. Perfect hair. Perfect skin. Think Belle from the Beauty and the Beast meets Megara from Hercules. The smart pretty girl that had to grow up too fast. She always seems to have it together.
“What do you mean?” I asked. “Her life’s pretty much an open book! She has a blog, a twitter, a YouTube channel… just about everything you want to know about her is online. Books she’s read, songs she loves… heck.. what she’s listening to at the moment.”
“And cyber-stalker of the year award goes to…” Shauna says, half kidding. “Markie… That’s her bio. That stuff doesn’t really count.”
“But we’ve known her growing up. All the online stuff just helps me get to know her a bit more. Seriously… we took the same classes…” I rattled off. “Volunteer for the same kind of community service work… year in and year out she always takes that creative writing elective for poetry and so do I because we’re both writers. We read the same books, we like the same songs… it’s just too uncanny!”
“Okay already…” Shauna says, clearly disturbed with my obsession. Can’t blame her. Even I think it’s over the top. Why did this girl matter to me so much?
“Look. I get the picture. Must be fate and all that how your souls are all alike and junk.” Shauna says changing tactics and backing down. “Riddle me this then… if you two are so perfect for one another, why can’t you be yourself around her?”
“I have been asking that for the last 10 years.” I said taking a seat next the her, the fight totally leaving me. “I mean, am I just so scared that I’m wrong and that I’m all just dreaming this up? I mean, the evidence is all there. The parallels are just too unavoidable.”
Shauna sighs as her bus finally arrives and pulls over by the waiting shed. “And I’m all for that Markie. I really am. But if you’re ever going to have a relationship with this girl, you’re gonna have to stop being a fan and start being a real person. And when that happens you’ll actually have some real kind of relationship with her. Not this crazy fanboy idiocy.”
Too true. That hit home. All this time I’ve been a fan and a moron pining after a girl I was in love with. Not once was I ever really me. She’s everything I apparently want… but there’s got to be more than that.
“I’ll see you tonight. My dad wants to come see Mr. Ryan anyways.” Shauna says before getting on the bus. We wave and then I spend the next 10 minutes pondering what she said. Okay Markie. Fan mode off. Time to put on the big boy pants and show her I’m not just a blithering idiot. What could possibly go wrong?
Chapter 4: That Blessed Bell
I’m a broken shell of a young man at this point. Must the tattered shreds of my dignity be further ground to powder? That voice that was begging me to stop talking and was breaking things in my head is now saying to me in a weak dying death rattle: somebody kill this guy please.
“Hi Mark.” Maddie says. I guess you really could get lost in someone’s eyes. I’m an idiot. Gotta be confident. In control. Smooth. Dettached but engaged.
“Yo wassup girl?!” I manage. Somewhere behind me Jay chokes on his soda and starts coughing. It’s possible some of it went out his nose. I could hear Shuana stifling laughter and whipping out napkins.
Maddie makes an expression much akin to when people are asked to solve math problems. It’s that or the face people make when they’re asked what their thoughts are on athlete’s foot. Mercifully the moment passes and she talks on.
“Not much is up.” She says forming the words and being polite for the sake of politeness. At this point in time I just wanna shove a rake into my left eye socket. There is no yard here. And behind me Jay is still coughing. Maddie apparently notices.
“Is he alright? That nasty cough has been going on since before 1st period.” She says. So astute is my goddess.
“Oh Jay’s just really…” I say floundering…
“I have allergies.” Jay says gaining composure. “I’m allergic to Spazz.”
“..modic allergens.” Trina jumps in. “Spazmodic allergens are all in the family of the phylates found in common foods and such. It’s no big deal for us but the poor guy just can’t help getting fits.”
Bless your heart trina. Somebody’s getting an extra special birthday gift this year.
“You coming to the Tuba-door tonight? Our Markie’s quite the crooner.” Trina says. Make that super special birthday AND Christmas gift.
“Hey yeah! That’s what I was gonna ask you about!” Maddie says brightening up. “The flyer said you were singing tonight. I just thought that was so wild because my friends told me I should totally look out for their front act.”
Is it possible to feel so much joy and brim overwhelmingly with dread? Maddie’s friends said I was an act she should look out for. And yet paralysing fear because I could very well say something really dumb. Split second to decide what to say. And I find I’m just staring at those amazing eyes. And that smile! My goodness. What a smile.
Somewhere behind me Shauna coughs what sounded something like “just nod”.
“Mmm-hmm.” Was all I could manage as I snapped out of my daze, nodding slowly and keeping my mouth shut. What do I say?!
“That’s really wild!” Maddie says. My goodness she’s actually really excited. “My friend Shelly says you’re gonna cover that Bruno Mars song tonight for kicks. That’s like my fave song EVER. And it’s hard too ‘cause not a lot of guys can sing that high.”
Ok. Now the floor has given way. Officially I’m gone. Just gone. Too much serendipity. But it would be Trina who would come and save the day.
“Markie’s actually not that bad. Kind of a tenor with just a hint of baritone.” Trina says.
“You sing too?” Maddie asks, all smiles. I guess pearly whites are called that because of smiles like hers.
“In the shower. Strictly. I’ve a yearly contract that doesn’t permit me to sing anywhere else.” Trina says, cracking a VERY good joke. Well. To me. She’s always so funny. “I’m Trina. Trina Calloway”
“Maddie St. James.” She says just as brightly.
“We know…” Jay snorts and then realizes that was a dumb thing to do…
“From YouTube.” Shauna says hastily. Good save! I have the best friends in the universe. “Hi. Shauna. You’ll have to forgive Jay. His allergies render him unable to use the 10% of the brain we’re actually capable of accessing.”
“Hi Shauna. And Jay? Nice to meet you guys.” Maddie says with a laugh. “Anyways I just wanted to come on over here because my friends totally said I should check the front act out. Small world.”
And then the blessed lunch bell rings. She says her goodbyes and nice to meet you’s and heads on off. A few steps a way she turns around and says “See you tonight!”.
Dear universe. Please let the Maddie effect only directly scramble my cognitive functions and not my vocal chords. Oh Maddie. When am I ever gonna be normal around you.
Chapter 3: Not so friends
“Seriously man. I don’t know what to do with you anymore. That was the mother of all trainwrecks. If trainwrecks wanted to be something if they grew up, they would look to moments like that moment for inspiration. What’s the matter with you?!” Jay said fuming at the lunch table. Apparently he still can’t get over how I ruined a 4 step plan. He went on and on about ‘so what if she talks to me, that doesn’t change anything’.
“C’mon jay, you’re really only upset because your ‘plans’ went up in smoke. I’m the one who has to love her from the land of shadows and shame. This is hard enough for me as it is.” I said taking a few pokes at the macaroni and cheese I was supposed to be eating for lunch. Obviously I had no appetite.
“That’s true though.” Jay doubles back, a complete 180 in demeanor. “Mostly it was really just funny. Tweet tweet? You fail so epically sir. So epic is the failing that you do indeed.” Jay said barely able to keep from laughing out loud.
“Yuk it up shcmuck.” Was all I could say. Not denying anything and resentful.
“Wow this is depressing.” A deep but not male voice said with only the slightest hint of disdain. “Crash and burn?” The voice from behind me asked.
“Crashed, burnt, nuked and unable to support life for the next 800 years. That is the landscape of poor markie’s future with one Maddie St. James.” Jay said making room at the lunch table.
I guess I did paint a dismal scene. Me slumped and barely propped up on a chair. Jay looking sympathetic and sardonic. Yes. Jay’s just one of those people who can pull of genuine concern for your wounds while salting them.
“Seriously Mark, if you can’t even be a real person with this girl why the heck are you going for her anyways?” The deep voice said still from behind. Shauna Chase. The 3rd musketeer to this iconic rag tag band of misfits. Tall, supermodelesque if that’s even a word… wait yes. It is a word. Now.
But the girl’s got a good brain. Kind of a bookworm and comes on real strong. She’s kinda one of the boys but so not a boy. She had just recently gotten over her big shirt, pants and flipflops phase and is now glaming it out. It’s funny when she shoots a guy down when they try to ask her out. She’s probably the only source of cool our little group has ever had… or will ever have for that matter.
Flipping her long auburn hair to the side she plops her tray down and sits next to Jay who makes room. “If I were you,” she continued, “I would totally find some way to wean myself off of this girl and focus on more important things.”
“It’s not that easy and you know it!” I said, almost too petulantly as she sat down next to Jay. “You can’t just unlearn a love that’s lasted years.”
Shauna gives me this look like I was a teacup Chihuahua that just threw up in her shoe, which by the way is an allusion to what happened to her last week when Peanut (she’s a huge Pauly Shore fan) tossed his little tea cup cookies in her favorite black flats after drinking some green tea latte. She loved that dog. But not always so when it made a mess.
“Lasted years? Seriously? We’re freshmen. You don’t even know this girl. You’re really probably just in love with who you think she is. For all you know your impression of her and ‘actual reality’ are so different, that the girl you’ve been mooning over doesn’t even exist out side your sad pathetic mind.”
Oh Shauna. How you wound me so.
“My love is real ok? And so is Maddie. I can’t believe you’d say something that…” I said trying to defend 10 years of pining. “How could you even suggest something so…”
“Likely?” Jay said.
“Probable?” Shauna chimed, almost too cheery for even her.
“Are we picking on Markie today? Because as fun as that is I need your opinion.” A cheery voice said from behind. Why do people love standing behind me and addressing everyone at the table?
“Yes Katrina, apparently it’s pick on Markie and make him feel worse day. Do feel free to join in on the crushing of my dreams.” I said morosely, stuffing some mac and cheese in my mouth in resignation.
Trina was wearing her Lisa Loeb glasses today. Not that anyone knows who Lisa Loeb anymore these days. Sigh. The benefits of having older siblings. Well me anyways. She’s always in a dress. And she always wore her hair straight, long, dark and with bangs that kinda just hit the rim of her glasses. Kind of like a long haired Daria only pleasant and not deadpan. And cheery. Gawds she was always cheery.
“Awww, poor baby. They’re just teasing is all.” Katrina said.
“Nope.” Shauna said eating her salad.
“Not really.” Jay added.
I rolled my eyes. Some friends.
“You wanted an opinion?” I asked, desperate for any change in the subject.
“Yup.” Trina sits down. Yes. Cheery… ly. Also a word just now. “I’m kinda stuck writing my new story and I kinda need some help.”
Trina’s a real writer. I mean not like me who just scribbles random poetry and plot ideas that would be fun. She wins awards. She’s semi-published, and by semi we mean the town newsletter has printed some of her stories. She’s quite the budding romance novelist so obviously I don’t read her stuff. But that’s not all she writes. For fun she and I have this thing where she helps with my poetry and I help plot her out. I’m actually really a good plotter. But my brain falls apart when it comes to Maddie.
Dangit. I’m thinking of her again. Dear universe… why on this good green earth do I love Maddie St. James?!
“Is this the soap opera one?” I asked with a hint of mischief. “Because if you need an absurd plot twist… I’m sure we can cook one up right now.” I said laughing.
Trina started laughing too. Private joke. You see, Trina lives in the neighborhood so every so often our parents would get the same babysitter. One of them was a HUGE soap opera buff. So for a long stretch during our formative years it was betrayals and scandals and infidelity and long lost cousins who were actually the murderer’s uncle’s grandparents true heir to the family fortune.
My life was just way too much like a sitcom to relate. Today being an obvious example. Trina on the other hand lived in a completely different kind of TV series. Very early dawson’s creek. (My sister hogged the TV growing. I’m so scarred with all that joey dawson pacy crap. Why do I even know their names!)
And I guess that’s where Trina gets all the juice to write. Easier to cope with real life by escaping to another world you can dream from the ground up. And so ours was a nervous laughter glazing over the horrors of the past and present.
“Get a room”. Shauna said forking some salad into her mouth. She’s constantly under this impression that Trina and I should just get together and be done with it. Doesn’t she get that it’s just way too familiar? We’re like Xander and Willow. Only she’s not gay or a witch and I’m… well… not dating my best friend’s younger sister. (The one thing my sister and I actually loved was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, even Jay respects the Whedon).
“Actually that’s not a bad idea.” Trina says looking thoughtful. Confusion obviously keeps us quiet and staring at her intently half begging to clarify what she just said.
“What?” she asks almost just as confused. Then 2 seconds later it hits her. “Oh gosh no… not a room… I mean not with markie… I mean…”
“There it is.” Jay smiles and starts working on his tuna casserole, satisfied with the clarification.
“I didn’t mean with Him I was just…” Trina back paddles trying to explain herself.
“The look of horror on your face let’s us know you have not lost your mind young scribe.” Jay reassures her.
“Paging Dr. Freud, we have found one of your slips.” Shauna says shaking her head. “I knew there was some latent geek love in the air. You’re both just too close to it to see.”
“Shauna… no. I meant for the story… there was a twist that was needed and who the heck is Dr. Frog anyways…” Trina says just a little more flustered.
“It’s Freud.” Jay says snickering. “That was good.”
Shauna smiles a but pleased with herself. “Wasn’t it? I thought that was clever.”
“Guys!” I yell. “Nobody’s getting anyone a room. We’ve been through this. Trina and I are just friends. That’s all.”
Shauna shakes her head and starts eating again. Jay just looks at me for all of 3 seconds, shakes HIS head and finishes off his lunch. Gawds these two are annoying. Maybe they should get a room. Wait. Eeew.
“Anyways I just meant that the story I’m writing now just got a little too boring and some cheating just might make it more interesting for the characters. There’s always novelty in betrayal.” Trina says, regaining composure. “It’s hell for the characters but for the writer it’s good clean fun leading up to revenge and vindication.”
“Wow. That sounds heavy.” Shauna says taking a sip of her water. “You sure you wanna be writing about that kind of stuff?”
“Right now I guess I need to.” Trina says, just a hint of sadness breaking her sunny resolve. Just a few months ago her dad finally decided to up and leave. Her mom’s a dentist so apart from having perfect teeth they’ve got a ton of money so no harm there. But 2 years ago we found out that her dad had been cheating on her mom. He said, she said… blah blah blah and then last year we found out her dad had a baby with that other girl. Talk about devastation. Now he just decided to go.
That’s the best part about Trina. She gets it. She’s cut up inside but she knew that whatever her parents had these days was a huge joke. She knew they just were never good for each other. If that were me, I’d lose my mind. Mom and Dad, for all their oddities… they’re steady. Like the elder Mr and Mrs. Focker from that Ben Stiller movie sequel. Only not jewish and for the sake of my sanity neither are sex therapists. The horror….
That kinda kept us silent for a few seconds. We weren’t so much walking on eggshells as we were just letting the conversation go to where it should. But I can’t take silence too much so I had to say something.
“Well revenge and vindication are always part of a great soap opera. Like the count of montecristo .” I said trying to lighten the mood.
“Oh please… Like you really read it.” Shauna said calling me out.
“What?” I asked incredulously. “I did the research. I read the cliff’s notes. I know how it ends.”
“Well….” Trina chimes in. “I did the research. I summarized the cliff notes.”
“And you were so good at that too!” I said.
“You did that book report?” Shauna asks, half surprised half amused.
“Got a nice clean yard and a weekend’s worth of chores out of it too.” Trina smiles.
“I like yard work. Soothes the mind.” I say in my defense. What? It does! I really do like yard work.
“Soothes the mind?” Jay looks at me, obviously confused.
“What? It does!!” I said defending myself in front my so-called friends.
“It really does do him good.” Trina says in my defense.
“I can have layers you know?” I say almost weakly.
“Well for your sake you better find your inner yard because look who’s on her way here.” Shauna says gesturing behind me.
And like the meme goes. Suddenly…. Maddie St. James.
Chaper 2: Tweet Tweet
Too stunned to speak. We did not in any form or fashion cover a scenario where she would talk first. I would panic but I’m a little beyond that.
“Are you okay? You’re in a little earlier than usual.” She said completely unfazed by the (in hindsight) idiotic look of shock on my face. Think deer in the headlights of that truck Sweet Tooth drives from that Twisted Metal videogame. All the while the deer’s going what? and huh? simultaneously.
“Yeah.” I said in a tone of voice about an octave higher then my usual “Early. wow. You know I’m early?” I lamely replied. They should give cash prizes to being dumb around girls you like. I’d be so rich I would buy self esteem by the gallon. You know. In a world where they gave cash prizes for idiocy there’s bound to be some self esteem bottled somewhere. Like that felix felicis stuff harry potter drank in book 6. Only less luck and more, well… shoot. At this rate I’mma need to shoot some of that up to get out of this trainwreck.
“I’m usually in earlier so I kinda know who the early birds are. I like mornings.” Maddie said. The epitome of confidence and charisma. Yeah. She brings out my poetic side. It just also happens to come out right along side the blubbering idiot side if she’s in the same room as me.
“I’m an early bird! Tweet tweet!” I laughed. Case in point.
“Ooookay. And today I can see that.” She said. Did I detect half amusement? Crap. I doesn’t matter if I detect an outbreak of the ebola virus! Tweet tweet?! What in the 9 hells was I thinking?!
Somewhere behind me I heard a slap and briefly got a glimpse of Jay facepalming. The look of agony I know was less from the audible smack his hand made on his face and more from the way I was doing this.
Quick, say something before…
“Was there something you wanted to say?” Maddie asked still composed, smile as sincere as ever. Dear universe, Why am I an idiot? “You looked like you had something really important on your mind.”
What did I wanna say? I love you marry me will you have 3.4 children with me and move to a house on a lake overlooking well… the lake and grow old together and die surrounded by fat little grandchildren that we only see at christmas…. “I… well… there was this thing tonight with…” I plodded.
“Here.” I said giving her the thin little piece of paper. I was holding it, half sword, half shield. A means for her to be distracted from the obvious dork I was making of myself, and a way to accomplish my mini quest.
“Okay then.” She said, half smiling, half curious and took the paper from me. She scanned it for half a second. Her nose is so dainty.
“Open Mic night! Yeah I know about this!” Her eyes lighting up, and that smile… it’s quite possible I’m melting. “Some friends of mine are performing tonight. They’re really good. I didn’t know the Tuba-door’s been giving out flyers?”
What was I gonna say to this? She asked about the flyers. Do I really want to lie? It’s not a good foundation for any relationship. While trying to mouth words, I heard a not so subtle “sneeze” from 5 lockers away that I could have sworn sounded something like “hnngh-bhite”.
It was Jay. And what looked like a really bad sneezing fit. I think He was trying to say something. Every sneeze sounded more and more like the word invite.
“Is your friend ok?” Maddie asked. I looked away from jay for a while to see her look genuinely concerned over in his general direction. Why did I have to find her so darned pretty. “He looks like he’s having a fit of some kind.”
Gotta admit Jay was laying it on thick. A couple more sneezes and he shot me a look of pure… well… will and rage kinda apply. And then the signal. Air quotes and mouthing the words invite. Long story how that came to be our “don’t be an idiot stick to the plan” signal but that jolted me out of the bizarreness of my situation and the stunning effects of Maddie St. James.
“He’s really just like that.” I said in the most believable and reassuring way I could muster. I didn’t lie. But I didn’t say he was just playing the good wingman.
“Are you sure? I think He’s trying to say something?” Maddie asked.
Comically we both started shaking our heads and denying it. Then I guess jay sorta noticed that his shaking his head simultaneously with mine means he was actually listening to our conversation. Which would explain the split second of recognition that flickered in his eyes. And so, still sneezing and now coughing (for good measure) he starts inching towards the bathrooms.
“He’ll be fine. He’s just allergic to… you know… complete lame-ness… ANYWAYS!” I said, going for broke. “Maybe you should come tonight. Mr. Ryan’s got the whole place decked out it’s gonna be great.” there. I said it. Like ceasar said that one time, The die has been cast. Or thrown. And why only one die. Don’t people normally play with 2? were there D20’s in ancient Rome?
“I’m actually gonna be there tonight.” Maddie said brightly. “You know? To see my friends? are you going?”
“Yes. I really am!” I said too brightly. Wow. She was going. That’s step one! Invite. Check. crap. what was step two? shoot. Stupid coughing fit. “And since you are, maybe I’ll see you up there tonight?” Nice. Probably the only right thing I did. All morning. It’s not a suggestion, it’s a question. That rhymes in my head.
“You mean on stage?” she asked looking me in the eyes. Is it just me or are those eyes almost green? Breathtaking.
“Well sure! I mean, you sing right?” I said. Okay. so far the Conversation is going… well… it’s going. It’s not stellar but someone pinch me I’m talking to Maddie st. James!
“Yeah I do! How’d you know?” She asked almost too surprised.
What was I gonna say? ‘duh maddie, of course I know. How you ask? Well 60,000 of the 200,000 hits on your youtube account are mine.’ Or might as well be. Fortunately she said something before I could.
“Wait. YouTube. Right.” She said. For someone who’s semi famous she’s pretty cool about it. “Anyways, I was thinking of just watching tonight. But hey, I’ll see you there?”
Okay. Know when you’re being given an out. Take the out. And carry what little dignity you have left with you as you go your way. But gosh is she ever so pretty. I may never be this close to her again.
“Absolutely!” I said. Cheery as ever. Or well. Never. But today’s a start. Suddenly the look on her face makes me think I should stop smiling at her. Maybe I’m smiling too hard?
“Are you ok?” Maddie asks, her smile now half a grimace. Wow. Ok Markie. Back off. Smooth. Like… well. Smooth… things.
“Me? What? Oh yeah! I’m just… y’know, swell…”
Somewhere in the back of my head I hear a little voice screaming, ‘good lord stop talking!’.
“Swell?” She asks, amusement creeping into her half smile/half grimace.
“Yeah! Swell. Like the way superman said it in that movie one time when he was talking to Lois lane for the first time and was totally into her…” And the voice in my head gets louder and starts breaking things… in my head.
Then realizing what the clark kent lois lane thing implies I panic.
“But that says nothing about this conversation and what i feel about… I mean there’s no connection whatsoever to… not that if there was I would… yeah. i need to go…”.
Which I did. Like a solider. Spinning on one heel for an about face and a steady march. Only hunched over. With no dignity.
Walk away. walk Away. Walk Away…. Keep walking.
“See you tonight!” She cries after me. “Mergfghh…..!” I manage to mumble over my shoulder with some semblance of enthusiasm. For some reason Jay’s not in sight. I look around and see him practically jump out of the side of the row of lockers. Like pounced from out the little gap between our set of lockers and the next.
Of course this startles maddie and she yelps a bit.
Great. Two peas in a socially dysfunctional pod.
That’s me and Jay. I weird Maddie out while he scares her.
Just perfect.
So he was hiding behind the row of lockers the whole time? Well of course we couldn’t see him Maddie’s locker door was obscuring the view from everything on her right. And now my best friend is making a determined b-line in the direction I was heading.
Maybe if I go far enough I’ll hit some hills. And hide there where people don’t know my name and what I did… Oh. So that’s where they get it… Hm. Makes sense.
By the time we rounded the corner and were blessedly (hopefully) out of earshot, a heavy hand with a lantern ring replica descended upon my shoulder like a coat of shame.
“Sir, Man-card and registration please. We’re going to have to suspend you from the order.” Jay said. Heck. If I had one I’d have handed it in.
Chapter 1: Schmuck
Today is the day. I’m finally going to talk to her. Not that I’ve never spoken to Madeline St. James. I mean I did offer her a box of crayons when we were in kindergarten. And there was that one time in the cafeteria in fifth grade where she asked if I was standing in line and of course I totally was but I shook my head at her and maybe smiled before saying I had to go to the nurse’s office for my weekly prescription of… well… encouragement. I don’t think I was able to say that much though. But it was in my head. I think.
My best friend Jay who was with me at that time said I grimaced and ran for the hills like a… well… whatever ran for the hills in those days. Where did people even get that expression?
Anyways here we were an hour early before school started. Why? We happen to know full well she comes in at around this time. I was at my locker, the one next to Jay’s. This particular morning, I was once again recounting the 2 (yes count ‘em 2) pathetic times in the 10 years I’ve known Maddie St. James that we actually interacted in any form or fashion.
Why?
As a means to bolster my confidence that today won’t be a trainwreck if those last 2 times weren’t? Possibly. Jay wasn’t helping though. No sir. My wingman was less wing and more “oh man, you can’t be any less helpful right now”.
“Seriously man. That was the last time you ever spoke to her and you totally freaked.” Jay said as he was putting his things in his locker. “We’re talking extra strength awkward with a dash of I’m gonna be sick’”.
“It wasn’t that bad!” I half pleaded half said. “Was it?”
“Face it pal. This girl is your kryptonite. The Mutant Collar that disables your x-gene. The very golden lasso that is your iconic weapon and your ultimate undoing.” Jay said, in full drama.
“Golden lasso? What the heck are you talking about?” I asked.
“Wonder woman has this lasso that’s pretty nigh indestructible and allows her to coerce the truth from those she binds with it.” Jay said giving me his best “talking to idiots and children” voice. “It is really also her only weakness because if she’s bound by it, she too has to succumb to it’s power and the will of whomever wields it.”
“So I’m an amazon princess and Maddie St. James is the Golden Lasso that chokes me to death?” I asked.
“Crudely put but yes. Emphasize the princess part a bit because I swear man, if I have to see you crash and burn yet again… we are taking your man card.” Jay said with mock menace. “Man up! Or feel the wrath of the Lantern Honor Guard!”And for emphasis jay points his green lantern ring at me. Yes he brought it to school. Why he doesn’t get beat more is beyond me.
Anyways, There I was, getting a pep talk on talking to girls by Jay Stiener. King Geek of the South East. So the girls at school think he’s incredibly wierd. Who cares. He knows he’s weird. Revels in it even.
Why doesn’t it bother him? Because in his little subcultural comic-con world, he would be the highschool equivalent of the jock that’s sure to win prom king. Me? I’m nobody anywhere. No sports. Just started with the music, thanks much in part to Ms. St. James. No academics so I’m not a brain. I like comics and movies but mostly I just dabble in geekiness. I read more for the story than for anything else. Jay on the other hand is hardcore. Me? I’m hardcore into virtually nothing. Unless you count my writing. Which You shouldn’t. Yet. Maybe. Anyways.
“Seriously bro, the only reason the jocks even remotely respect me, which is to say not pummel me on sight, is because the see all the ‘play’ i get at comic con.” Jay says while reverently taking out some item of clothing from his backpack. “This my friend, being one of those reasons… OH how hot am I in this right now…”.
“Play? Really?” I asked incredulously. “What does that even mean? And what the heck is that thing?”
Jay was cradling this strange (and may I say shiny) article of clothing as though he were some kind of proud father holding an infant. “Is that a vest?”
“This my friend is the official Red Lantern Guy Gardener Vest I ordered. Wait for it… custom made.” Now he’s getting that mad glint in his eyes. Why did I ask him to help me today? “This my friend is why the ladies love me.”
Oh. Right. Play. What does that even mean? Sigh. Whatever it is he has it. He can has play. “And this is gonna help me how?”
“Markie, when she walks into that door you’re going to need two things. Will, and Rage. Will because you stutter like a little biyotch and rage because you gotta be so angry at wimping out all the time. That anger will lead you to just enough self loathing. That self loathing will thereby allow you to man-up for once in your life and actually go for broke with this girl”. Jay says blithely putting the vest on. “And so i give you one of the most epic visual aides to illustrate my point.”
With that he reaches into his pocket and puts something on his other ring finger. “Observe the green ring for will and the Red ring, for rage. Ha! See that? Epic.”
Well. It was something. There he was half excited, half looking for me to affirm this ridiculous getup. I mean sure wear the rings incognito but to go to school on partial comic-con mode is a bit much. In spite of how epic he says the vest is.
And was the vest as epic? Maybe on a legendary green lantern that vest and ring combo would be iconic. Assuming I even knew what he was talking about. On a tall kinda scrawny kid with reddish curly-ish hair… it just looks bizarre. And garish might I add.
“What the hell are you talking about?!” I asked exasperated. “Maddie could walk in any minute and you haven’t even gotten to the part where you help me!?”
“Dude take a pill!” Jay said unfazed by my mounting panic. “All will be well. I would have more license to say that but my blue ring’s at home. All you have to remember is that when you see her, invite her to the gig. tell her it’s open mic night. You may even have the wits to suggest she bring her guitar with her and jam along. Will and Rage Markie. Will and Rage.”
“Okay, I still don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. But seriously? Bring her guitar? What if she thinks I’m over familiar? What if she thinks I’m trying too hard?” I swear I could feel the panic. the last thing i wanna do is blow my chances at being AT LEAST well acquainted with Maddie.
“Markie. We really don’t have enough time to ‘explain’ why that approach is the best one but you are going to have to trust me okay?” Jay says air-quoting the word explain. It’s our code for “Markie, you’re freaking out and you need to get a grip and we so do not have time for this just trust me” mode.
“Also, she’s right there. So just go find out if this plan sucks.” Jay says twiddling his fingers in the general direction behind me. “Unless you throw up on her or kill kittens in front of her while hurling insults at her mother… even you can’t screw this up.”
Halfway through what jay was saying about insulting kittens I looked behind me and true enough there she was. My gawd she was beautiful. She wore her hair down today like most days. It came all the way past her shoulders. That amazing beautiful hair.
“Markie! Snap out of it okay? I swear you’re hopeless sometimes.” Jay said snapping his fingers in front of me. “Invite, suggest, wait for it, leave. that’s the battle plan. Say any more and you may end up babbling. Not good.”
“Invite, suggest, leave. Okay. got it. What do i suggest?” I asked repeating the strategy word for word.
“You invite her to tonight’s open mic night. You suggest that she come along and maybe jam. You wait for it… and by it meaning her response… and then when you get it, you leave. Don’t push. Don’t attempt words. Take whatever she throws at you and just go. Ok? Here is the flyer. Spares you the details of having to explain things to her. Tell her it’s all there.” Jay says handing me a piece of paper.
“The Tuba-door gave out flyers?” I asked taking the piece of paper, careful not to crumple it.
“No. I took the liberty of making just one copy for today knowing you could well botch this up by trying to explain what tonight was all about. She’s a performer. Her youtube channel’s got clips of her singing everywhere. Now i know you know that but I don’t trust you enough to remember that when you’re within a 1 meter radius of her.” Jay said still in the talking to idiots and children voice. “She knows how this works. All she needs is an invite. Stick to the plan Markie.”
I took a deep breath and wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans, careful not the crumple the flyer once again. Wow. Jay pulled through. “Thanks for thinking this through man.”
“I may be totally owning this lantern phase, and working the ginger gardner angle, but really… I’m batman.” Jay said, somber and dead serious. God he’s so wierd. But He pulled through. My hero? “Go. Now. Before the bell rings.”
I nodded. Sweaty palms and thundering heart I began to make my way towards her. She was texting and had her bag on her shoulder. Good. Maybe I can use the time she takes to put her stuff in her locker to have this long awaited chat.
As I was walking I couldn’t help but look back at Jay who was all clint eastwood-esque and leaning on the lockers. Okay. Space cowboy. I get it. He was mouthing invite, suggest, wait and leave. OKay. I can do this.
Today is the day. The strategy is air tight. She’s gonna maybe show up that night and that takes me one step closer. That’s it Maddie. Put that bag in your locker. Flip that beautiful hair and…
Oh god she just looked at me. Okay. She knows I’m coming her way. Wow. she just smiled. Totally unexpected. Did the strategy cover a pleasant outcome? I was totally expecting cold or at best indifferently nice. Polite even. But a full on smile was just something I wasn’t prepared for in any….
“Mark right?” She said. And with those words the rest of my brain disappeared.
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